Saturday, January 22, 2011

The Dark Side

Being in nursing school has brought out my dark side. I even dyed my hair the darkest brown (in temporary dyes - I hate roots) that I could find... without actually going black. And it really feels like a good fit. I normally enjoy being blonde or red, but at this time in my life I need to be DARK.

I have started treating nursing school like the military. What ever crazy thing they have us do, I just think to myself, "It's what I have to do," and that makes it okay. For example: I usually work while I'm in school. With this crazy schedule however, I try not to schedule anything until three weeks of school has passed. This time, sure enough, I found out I was going to have to do a two-day pediatrics rotation, but not during my normal clinical rotation schedule. They wanted me to do it on my days off. Then, as a reward, they would give me two clinical days off (together) on a random week. I didn't get to choose the week or anything. It's just when it fits their schedule. Oh, and the pediatrics rotation was in the evening. Nice. It's a good thing I didn't make any plans with work and stuff.

On a good note, I think I see a small light at the end of this. I feel like I almost can't believe I'm still in the program and others aren't. I have also had some weird doubts. Why am I here - I'm not that smart... Is this the thing I want to do with my life? Am I in the right place? Of course, it's all from stress. I've talked to my friends and most of them have had or are having the same thoughts. Once in a while though, I feel the excitement. I have to get through this term, and then it's just my practicum! Wow!

I've been knitting. There are a group of us in nursing school who knit and we get together. We knit. It's... nice. It's like we don't have to think for a minute. Of course, we all talk about nursing, but it feels different. I'm knitting fingerless gloves right now - to match the hat and scarf. I looked at my ravelry account and noticed I have almost ALL hats and scarves. Crap. I need to do something new I guess. What should I knit next??